Before I have a big event or something going on, I always get nervous. I'm not quite sure why because I know that everything will work out fine. Take tonight for example, I'm leaving work early to go see one of my favorite bands, Say Anything, perform. However, they're playing at a venue that I've never been to before. So I'll be nervous about everything until they actually appear on stage.
I've pulled up directions every day for the past week. Today, before I print them out, I'll go through the turn-by-turn directions provided by Google Maps. I will fret about the traffic beforehand and will most likely be unable to concentrate on anything fully today because of it. Once I'm driving, I will check the directions every five minutes or so, just to make sure that I'm going the correct way, though I know that I am-I know the general direction to go. Once I arrive at my destination I will become jittery unless I am able to find parking that does not involve street parking/parallel parking almost immediately. Chances are, I'll be on the phone with my friend who is meeting me there as I try to find parking. Once there, I'll try to make sure I'm in the correct line and will be able to pass along my extra tickets okay. I hate being late, so if I get stuck in traffic, I'll start to panic.
After the concert, I'll be nervous because of all the traffic leaving the area at the same time. I'm spending the night at my friend's place so somehow I'll have to leave the area and follow her/my directions at the same time. My hands will remain clenched on the steering wheel until I'm on a road that I recognize will lead me in the right direction. Because my friend also lives in a rural area, I will have my eyes glued to the road, music on low, driving well below the speeding limit in case of deer. Normally I wouldn't be be such a cautious driver but I know someone who recently got into a bit of a fight with a buck. And my car is a lot smaller than his. I'm not sure if that's a plus or a minus and I'd rather not find out.
However, tomorrow leaving my friend's place, I'll be fine. I've done the drive enough not to need directions even though I'll print them out just in case. If I hit traffic, it won't bother me too much because I'm going home and I don't have to be home at a specific time-just a time period.
I will say that I'm proud of myself because I no longer stress out what to wear. Years ago, planning an outfit to go to a concert was a huge deal. I would agonize over it for days and try on several items before finding one one that was able to convey exactly how I felt. Now, I realize that I will be a sweat machine by the end of the show so I aim to dress comfortably. It probably helps that I don't buy anything that doesn't relate to who I am as a being.
Baby steps.
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